if dreams are like movies them memories are films about ghosts

Life hasnt been stranger in quite a while.
Its strange how lonely you can feel when youre surrounded by people.
and how far from God you can feel when you spend all your time working in a church.

You dont realise how much you took your friends for granted until they've all left. To escape back to those days where you could walk into the common room and see all your friends, just sitting there, doing no work. to laugh. to chat. to moan. to cry. to be together. all of you. all the time. memories are but films about ghosts. how lucky i was to have all the people i love so close at hand.

New life. new changes. new people. new routines.
the gentle selfishness of not wanting my friends to make new friends. better friends. is a feeling ive felt a lot the past few weeks. i shouldnt have. but i did. its getting easier. and of course i want them to have new friends.
of course.
of course.

How much do i miss them? so much. but its great, its exciting, we're growing up, moving on, moving foward on this journey. And im so happy ive stayed behind for a year, even if i do feel like the leftbehind one sometimes. beacuse now i can appreciate all the people that i still have here with me. of course. of course. They're wonderful. theyre all wonderful. beautiful.

Memories arent just films about ghosts.
They're treasure.
Theyre the foundations of reality.